THE DARK, FAT, UGLY TOAD

 

I went flying yesterday. I had this detailed lesson plan all worked out to practice VOR tracking and simulated instrument maneuvers.

During the preflight I missed sumping the right wing tank on the first pass. This caused me some minor concern. I always follow the same preflight sequence, so how could I miss it?

Then, after drawing a sample, I resumed the preflight.

As I inspected the left static port I realized that I had neglected to inspect the static port on the right side of the fuselage. I walked back around the nose and checked it.

WTF?

I try hard to concentrate on each task during the preflight. I don't rush. Yet, here I had made two mistakes in a row. The fact this had happened was troubling to me. Was this an indication that I wasn't mentally sharp enough to be flying today? This idea sat like a dark, fat, ugly toad in the back of my brain. Riidddup… Riidddup…

I dragged the plane from the hangar with barely enough strength to get it over the sliding door track. The task seemed to take every ounce of strength I had. The plane is heavy, the initial pull is a slight uphill and I’m no spring chicken, but I usually don’t have this much trouble. What the hell, dude?

My back had been a little sore before I got to the airport. As I climbed into the plane I realized the struggle to pull it out of the hangar had aggravated it even more. I also noticed that I was feeling a little tense as a combined result of making the pre-flight mistakes and the added pain from my back. Riidddup… Riidddup…

“Just relax and let’s go have some fun,” I tell myself.

I complete an uneventful start-up check list and, after talking to ground control, I taxi to the run-up area. It’s a beautiful day with a few clouds and light winds. I take some deep breaths and focus on the tasks at hand.

I start the engine run-up and the right mag sounds good and the RPM drop is where it should be. I switch to the left mag and the engine runs noticeably rough. I immediately check the mixture, which I have adjusted from lean during taxi to full rich for the run-up. The mixture is still on full rich so I try and listen carefully to the engine. “Are you sure it’s running rough?” I ask myself. I listen some more. “No doubt about it, it’s rougher than normal,” I answer myself.

I lean the mixture and, still on the left mag, run the engine up to 2000 RPM for 30 seconds. The engine smoothes out. The plane is now ok for flight but I find my stress level has now increased. What if there is something wrong with the mag? What if chokes on take-off?

“Don’t be silly and quit worrying”, I try to tell myself. However the toad has grown bigger and fatter and louder.  Riidddup… Riidddup…  

I get the takeoff clearance, roll down the runway and climb into the uncertain sky. I am airborne only a few minutes when I realize I am just not mentally along for this flight. I turn back to the airport and request a clearance for landing.

After bouncing down the runway I taxi back to the hangar. I push the plane back into the hangar and lock it, and the dark, fat, ugly toad, inside.

As I walk back to my car I pretty sure I heard it once more, Riidddup… Riidddup…

Gary